I Saw the Devil
I saw not too long ago what may have been the beginning. What I mean is the beginning of a difficult path, of an end for many people. A kid’s first time getting really high.
I was headed to what ended up being an unsuccessful first date with a guy whose name I’ve forgotten. He asked me to meet him at a coffee shop- not my favorite setting for these things but acceptable when meeting someone off a dating app which was the case here. I parked and on my way in I passed an odd pair. A man, probably in his mid to late twenties, who based on my judgement of his appearance was homeless. With him was a teenaged boy, 15, 16 maybe, with a Jansport backpack. Probably the same bag he takes to school.
The two of them were sitting on the sidewalk with their backs up against a building. I passed quickly but the sight of them stuck in my mind. Anytime I see teenagers out and about I feel a sort of protective instinct. I wasn’t a teenager all that long ago myself. When I look back on many things that happened when I was, I feel sick. This included interactions with no good adults who I thought were my friends. Even then I knew to hide the backpack, a classic tell of being a kid. I would throw it behind a bush before walking into the tobacco store to exchange letting the owner hug me for not getting carded. As if he didn’t already know- me being a kid was actually the whole point for him.
I know things now that I didn’t then and it makes me vigilant. I notice things and feel them intensely. I didn’t stop but my instincts perked up seeing those two sitting against the wall.
The most interesting part of the date was what I would see through the window. The guy was wearing a thin scarf and hair gel and told me he was from Cape Cod. When he smiled I saw why he hadn’t put any photos that showed his teeth on his profile- they were stained and crooked. Surprising for a guy from Cape Cod, which I assume is a place where rich people live- I have not been.
Over his shoulder I saw people walking by on the other side of the window. Nothing unusual, until I saw those two from earlier pass by. What really got me was the kid’s face, which looked a way I have never seen a face look before. Stretched, grinning, red, irritated with little bumps. Like an animated, rotting jack-o-lantern head on a child’s body. His expression is one I recognized from doing drugs. When you’re really high your face can freeze in a wicked smile. The chemicals in your body are desperate for a way to express themselves.
There was something about it that was unfamiliar to me at the same time. He looked poisoned, or allergic, like when a dog eats a bee and it’s face swells up. Rippling almost. Breaking open. Long story short this kid looked absolutely out of his mind, and the guy with him did not. Something very strange was going on and I had an idea of what.
My theory is that this kid had just smoked meth for the first time in his life. I don’t have evidence to back this up besides instinct and observation. I know people who have done the stuff but I’ve never been present for strictly meth consumption. All I really know is that this kid was on some sort of drug that turned him into a grinning devil, and that this younger homeless guy would have been the one to give it to him. I felt I was witnessing something significant and evil.
I did not tell the guy I was with about what I had witnessed. He likely wouldn’t have gotten my point. I saw something that in combination only crossed my field of vision for a few seconds and yet I have been thinking about it for months. Sometimes you see a face so strange you can’t forget it. I believe in the devil and that it can possess people and that’s what I think I saw.
I hope that kid is okay. I hope he returned home to his parents that day and that they love him very much. I hope they find out who he is hanging around and do something about it, even if it makes their kid hate them. That’s temporary, I would know. I wish I could go back and protect my younger self. Maybe he will too when he’s older.