Mad Diary Entry
I’m in that square where I wrote a year ago about the man dancing without music. Hot brick steps, I love the heat.
I’m pissed off today, at anything I can mentally catch hold of but not strongly against any one person or thing. On Saturday I play fought my friend in a parking lot while drunk and they pinned me but I’m pretending I won as a new development of the joke. The show I was at was so magical I took my fourth mental screenshot- it was an eight man Afro beat band. So many people we were pressed together, I took off my shirt and danced in my bra. People at my old college are claiming we’re close which I appreciate although it’s untrue. I called a guy I don’t know who’s been saying we’re good friends on someone else’s phone like it was normal, said are you coming to the show? I rode home on a scooter at two in the morning and my hands froze, texted my ex that I was at the sexiest show ever and he should have been there and he responded with ‘sexy like this?’ and a photo of me which of course I loved.
The next day I took mushrooms while in a bad mood and it flipped my brain into a new mode. My ego is jumping out and making me feel like a huge bitch, I need to get it back in check. I’m simping too hard for my two favorite ex boyfriends and I gotta stop, at least with one of them but probably both. The other one that I haven’t talked about, I called him drunk the same night as the show and the fight and left a message, saying he’s the greatest and I wish he would appear in a cloud of smoke. He texted our mutual friend the next day that he still desires a future with me where I have his children. I don’t see that happening because he also loves injecting meth and getting fucked in the ass by 10 dudes in the same night, but I’m considering it anyway. Things are up in the air.